More Emotions Than Expected, and a Message From Mom

Today Terri and I climbed Bell Rock, a natural red rock formation in Sedona, Arizona. We didn't go all the way to the top, but we did make it to the right spot for the mission.

Sedona is known for having a high concentration of energy vortexes. (I know that the plural of vortex is vortices, but Sedona's energy vortexes somehow escape this rule.) The vortexes of Sedona are believed to be locations having an energy flow that exists on multiple dimensions. Many people do not understand or believe this and easily dismiss it as nonsense. While these people may be right, they may also be wrong. I enjoy believing it is true.

So, the mission was to finally release the last of my mother's ashes and I realized that the spiritual nature of a vortex site would be appropriate. Bell Rock is a vortex site and was chosen to be the final destination of what was left of mom's dust and bits of bone.

The Catholic priests say, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" when applying the ashes of the previous year's palms (from Palm Sunday) to the foreheads of the believers on Ash Wednesday. I chose to acknowledge mom's Catholic faith and this returning, by returning what was left of mom to a place that is know for the spirituality of sharing energy.

Without a specific destination on the rock, we ambled up, re-routed ourselves twice, and I eventually arrived at The Place. It was a small outcropping with flowering plants on two sides and a curved branch that served as a railing of sorts. It was perfect and we were the only two in sight on that busy day. I said to Terri, "It's time."

I poured the last of my connection to my physical mom into my cupped left hand, brought my right hand in to complete the cup, and blew a kiss to send them flying off. There were still some there so I blew again. Then I brushed off my hands to get rid of the last remaining pieces.

And I collapsed in a heap and sobbed.

I did not expect the flood of emotions that came with the finality but I guess I should have. I am, after all, a sucker for symbolism, romance, and Hallmark card commercials. (I got that from my mom.)

After Terri mustered the courage to come out on that outcropping and comfort me, I got up and realized my finger was bleeding. It was probably a sharp piece that took a nick out of my right index finger when I rubbed my hands together. I guess mom got the last laugh as she bit me on her way out. Good one, mom!