9/11/09

9/11. On this day we remember the innocent and the courageous who lost their lives in a moment that shocked Americans and shook us out of our complacency.

We remember how sad we were for their families and how angry we were at those who dared attack us on our own soil and those that celebrated it in their streets.

I am conflicted when I remember. I remember clearly my initial feelings of rage, hatred, and desire for revenge. But now I think about these words: “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” And equally insightful: “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist.” (Both are from Mohandas K. Gandhi.)

On 9/11/01 nearly 3,000 people lost their lives needlessly. Our country rallied and threw hundreds of billions of dollars at the problem so it would never happen again. No one asked where the money would come from. There was no talk about a deficit or bankrupting our grandchildren. There was no guarantee we would succeed and no one expected one. We didn’t even know who the enemy was.

Now, eight years later, how many billions of dollars have passed from one clenched fist to another? Were these wise purchases? Do we feel safer? ARE we safer? Was that money spent as well as it might have been?

Every year 18,000 people in America die because they could not afford health care. Put another way, since 9/11/01 144,000 people have died from lack of affordable health care—that’s 48 9/11s. No one reads these victims’ names and there are no tolling bells. Can we at least address the problem now? We know there is no guarantee our first attempt will succeed. But that hasn’t stopped us in the past. And the time to do this is now because another 9/11 happens every eight weeks.

Finally!

I remember when Misha was younger, probably four. I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and she corrected me. She told me that the jelly goes on the other piece of bread-- not on top of the peanut butter. I didn't make them that way and I told her so. She let me know that, "That's not how mama does it!" and she spun around and left the kitchen.

For years I've recalled that story and never really knew why I made PB&J that way. Until this morning. Today I finally remembered why the jelly doesn't go on the other piece of bread.

This morning I thought back to when my brothers and I took turns making our lunches. There were four of us in school at the time. (Terri and Mary Beth stayed home because they were still too young for school and Bart wasn't even born yet.) Brian and I would get two sandwiches each; Tim and John would have one apiece. When it was my turn to make lunches, I employed the "assembly line" approach, making all sandwiches at once. I'd lay out the bread, bottoms on the bottom row, and tops just above. Even then, I made sure that the two pieces of bread used for the sandwich went back together the same way they came off the loaf, face to back so to speak. If it was bologna that day, all the bologna would get put on, then I'd go back to the first and put the mustard on the bologna. (Yep, that's the way we ate it.) Then I'd flip all the top pieces of bread on and put them in plastic bags. This was way before Ziploc. We used the old Glad sandwich bags that had a flap you would tuck in and then fold over the little pocket on the front. Mom usually had some type of Hostess snack for us too. So, after the sandwiches were made and bagged, I'd write the names on the brown paper bags, open them, put in the sandwiches, then drop in either a Twinkie, a Ho-Ho, or a Ding-Dong.

So, what does this have to do with how a PB&J is assembled? Well, as I made mine this morning, I remembered the reason the jelly shouldn't go on the plain piece of bread. It's really simple and I cannot believe it's taken me 21 years to remember the reason. You put the peanut butter on first to create a base. The base seals any holes in the bread. Then you apply the jelly over the base. Putting the jelly on the plain side may be easier to spread, but you end up pushing the jelly through any holes in the bread and you are left with a mess on the counter top when you're done. Not only does this mess require clean up, but you run the very high risk of getting jelly in a lot of other places it does not belong-- like the Glad bag, the paper bag, your white uniform shirt, your forearm, etc...

The bottom line is this: Misha, mama may put the jelly on the other piece of bread, but dad had his reason for doing it his way. It just took him two decades to remember what that reason is.

Almost

If John McCain had demonstrated to the country during his campaign the same classic statesmanship he did when he made his concession speech Tuesday night, he probably would be the president-elect right now. On Tuesday night he was not the negative campaigner; he was positive. He stopped the crowd from booing his opponent. He encouraged and gave hope to his supporters and to all Americans.

It makes me wonder if McCain gladly accepted the Rove-ing maniac campaign strategy of character assassination and fear mongering. Or was he was bullied into following it by the GOP back in June? Either way, I suppose, he did not lead. And that is the role he was seeking: leader of the United States of America.

It's hard to watch the people who don't win. It's even harder to watch when they might have won.

Balance

There is balance everywhere. Unfortunately or luckily, blessed or cursed, there are forces that ensure balance. Whether it's the positive and negative pulls of a simple magnet, the promise of spring and the melancholy of fall, or the birth of a child and death of a parent, balance prevails.

Today is November 1st. 22 years ago today a daughter was born to my brother Brian. 23 years ago, Tim had a daughter. 29 years ago, Teresa's mom died from cancer. Life and death balance each other on this date.

Now, Terri and I are living comfortably and planning a nice vacation to southwest Utah and Tim is homeless. Prosperity and poverty settle into a balance.

Today the family travels to see our freshman Sara at college for family weekend. It is a beautiful fall day here in the Midwest and we're all so proud of Sara. Two weeks before she was to leave, we were worried that the little girl who didn't even have her driver's license and loved being surrounded by family would struggle with the distance. But, she bloomed overnight. She got that driver's license and stepped out of her comfort zone into the place she needed to go. She took that leap all on her own. And she is doing great!

When things are this good, part of me fears the balance.