When cooking on a stovetop or electric skillet1. Allow one hour per pound of bacon for post-cooking clean up and de-greasing of the 15 foot radius around the skillet.
2. Allow four days per pound for the smell to leave the house.
When cooking on a cookie sheet on a grill
3. Ten minutes for the first side seems good.
4. The proper length of time for the second side is indeterminable.
5. Three minutes for the second side is not long enough.
6. Cook for four minutes on the second side and you will have perfectly crispy strips of carbon.
7. Carbon-bacon still tastes like bacon.
General bacon-cooking facts
8.The less-expensive bacon from the butcher section behaves exactly the same as the brands in the yellow and red paper sealed in non-removable plastic. It also tastes the same.
9. It is impossible to cook bacon and not eat at least one “serving” of bacon. This, I suspect, applies even to vegetarians. (But not vegans.)
10. Cook bacon in bulk and store in the refrigerator, then microwave when needed.
11. When you spend a full Saturday cooking a large quantity of bacon for the fridge on an electric skillet in the garage with the overhead door open so you don’t “stink up” the garage and house, the neighbors look at you funny.
Or maybe that was just because of the floral apron.
